Give yourself the green light

I've always been into fashion and dressing up. And quit often I get questions like: Where did you find this piece? How did you gather a certain look? How do you portray this confidence with your size? I never really know what to answer because I honestly just wear what I'm feeling.You know: doing fashion with the heart, the Emotionista way. 
But I didn't apply this philosophy my whole life. 

Growing up I've experienced a continuous kind of insecurity. A sense of failure which basically dominated my life. Through relationships, career paths, whatever I did to flee this emotion, it always came back to bite me in the buttocks. And there's a whole lot of buttocks to bite on, capice?

Gaining weight over the years, didn't help my confidence level either.  It shred the little amount of self worth I was holding on to, into little pieces. For someone that knows me now, it is hard to believe that I come from a place with such poor self esteem. I know what it is like to feel like only your size, to be nothing but your body and being judged by how you look on the outside. In stead of creating a loving relationship with the one thing that held my soul together, I hated it. For years. And yes, one day ...... everything changed.

This is where I get the most eyebrows raised. But how can it be, after gaining so much weight to love yourself again?

For me, it wasn't a magic pill. I was just tired. 
Tired of hating myself, tired of feeling and acting like a failure. Tired of not taking the responsibility of my own happiness. So, I started one day at a time by giving myself permission not to break my own spirit. But to nurture her with kindness. I gave myself permission to accept me in the moment. No longer would I aspire for a future in expense of ignoring my life in the present. I gave myself permission to still feel insecure sometimes, to still have that little fear. But now I listen also to my other inner voice and I balance them out. 

So how do I do fashion with my heart? How do I get all this confidence? 

I give myself permission to love me, without any barriers. 

Ladies, give yourself the green light!